Monday, September 19, 2011

How does it grow?

It's been an hour or so since I got home, and I am in a strange head space right now. I'm like mentally floating in a cloud of calm, warmth and security. Y'know, that whole, "everything's going to be ok" feeling. I suppose David Bazan will do that to you.

I don't think I can describe at all how this experience has affected me, not even close, but I'm going to try. In a short sentence, it was so fucking beautiful! Now in longer sentences... It was a very intimate show. Only 60 people (about half showed) were to attend, and it was held at a house in a heavily wooded area in south NJ. All the fear I felt going down there/having to travel back home all vanished when he walked in and (what seem like instantaneously) started to play. I was 95 miles away from home, and on my own, by the way.
Before I could even brace myself his voice boomed and vibrated so smoothly throughout the small living room area, and right then I became rooted to the floor. I felt my chest swell. I was blindsided by something so wonderful, so unexpected, that I felt like a new piece of printer paper being crinkled into a ball in his hands! It made me feel like something/one different in one single occurrence. It was so calm outside too. The only noise you could hear were crickets chirping. It was intensely romantic. I don't think I will ever forget this. It reminded me on how much I love music and art, because it's totally free. You can do whatever you want, be whoever you want, and you will find love in it somewhere.

I got to ask him a question in which the answer I received from him made me so relieved. I asked him what his method was for lyric and music writing; whether he did one before the other. His answer was exactly what I go through, and that writing lyrics is fucking hard. Haha. He writes amazing things, and it's good to know it's because he struggles and works hard at it, it's not something that just flies out of him for the most part. In other words, writing is a mixture of randomness, pure feeling, and hard work. Perfect. I'm so inspired. I will hold this experience with me forever, and I hope it really launches me into becoming a better musician. That's at least how I feel right now.

As I mentioned before, on my way there I was really nervous. I was nervous for practically the whole day leading up to it really. I was going to do something alone, that was apparently a pretty big deal for me. I fear simple things, please bare with me. I've never driven far to a place I've never been, all by myself. I felt like a super hero driving home. I accomplished something on my own, and to top it off it was such an amazing thing to do! It's funny because I'm actually really happy I went by myself. This memory is all mine, and there was no one else there to taint it! Again, it was perfect.

Time for this cheesy person to go to sleep. I have a class and a vet appointment tomorrow... Not for me, my dog!


  1. Wow - that is so beautiful! I haven't done anything like that, and I know that if I gathered up my guts and did it I would feel awesome as well! Congratulations on this trip, and I hope that you can do something like it again and again! <3

  2. ♥ Thank you, it really was beautiful! I totally recommend everyone to go to a show like that at least once. I thought I was the only one who thought something like that would be scary. I felt like a big wuss. Haha.